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5 things the man in your life will NEVER admit.

 

  1. That he cries…..I don’t care who he is, he cries (or he has)! More than likely a couple of those times it was for some really lame reason that probably didn’t even warrant crying in the first place….and I’m willing to bet my left boob that 99% of them have probably cried over a girl at one point in their life, though admitting that would be like breaking the “Man Code” so Lord knows that one will never be brought to light!

 

  1. That he watches porn…..Why on earth they would lie about something we already know is not true is beyond me, but the vast majority of men seem to do this. 

 

  1. That he doesn’t get jealous….This is just simply not true….most (though def. not all, because some just really do not care) men do get jealous when their gf, wife, whatever talks, looks at, or even thinks about another guy. He hides that jealousy for two reasons; 1. When he has one of those jealous moments himself it suddenly hits him how it feels for you when he looks at, or talks to or about other women…and he would just as soon cut off his right nut as he would admit that he gets jealous too…and 2. Admitting jealousy would mean that *gasp* he actually does care…and we all know that men always hate to admit that one!

 

  1. That he isn’t influenced by his friends…..Let’s face it guys are the way they are for a reason and sometimes that reason is because they don’t wanna risk looking soft in front of their “boys”…..they also lie about this because admitting it would mean that all the time you spend telling him what losers some of his “friends” are is the truth and that they can not handle! 

 

  1. That he doesn’t know why he acts like an asshole…..This is the biggest lie of all…and my boyfriends uses it all the time…he does know….again admitting it would be like admitting he has feelings and I guess that too violates one of the solemn oaths in that damn “Man Code”!

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5 Things Men are Experts @ doing

5 Things men are experts @ doing (or not doing as the case may be)

1.  Making you feel guilty for wanting "A break".  I'm not even talking about a relationship break, I'm talking abut a break from changing diapers, washing dishes, and playing referee.  Every time I say tyhis to my boyfriend he acts like I've said I want to sell my kids or something.  He almost immediately goes into this whole spiel where he lets me know that he could do my job (SAHM) with his hands tied behind his back...and we all know that is never the case.  Anyway I  hate when men do this.

2.  Forgetting to fix somthing that's been broken for way too long.  I know this is not the case with all men, but my boyfriend hates doing anything on the weekends.  He is perfectly content to plant himself on the couch Friday after work and not move until Sunday night when it's time for bed.  He forgets all about the "Honey -Do" list I've compiled all week and watched stupid guy movies that he's seen 500 times and football games where his team is not even playing...anything at all to get out of fixing my leaky kitchen sink.

3.  Adding more work for you to do.  Now it's bad enough that I have to clean up after myself and 4 children, but sometimes I swear my boyfriend makes more messes than all of us put together.  He eats and doesn't bother to rinse off his dirty dishes, he throws his clothes and towels all over the bathroom floor, and he seems to leave a trail of filth behind him whenever he is at home...can't stand that!

4.  Forgetting important dates i.e.; our birthday, anniversary.  My boyfriend used to be the one in our relationship that always remembered even the most unimportant of dates (like Sweetest Day for instance, and who honestly remembers that?  The only way I even remember is when all the flower shops start playing those commercials to remind us.)  Anyway now he doesn't even remember our anniversary, so I look like an idiot walking around all day dropping him hints, hoping that he'll remember....and he almost never does.

5.  Spending all weekend fixing something on his car that should have only taken an hour.  This one is by far away the one that gets on my nerves the most.  Every weekend there seems to be something wrong with his car and every weekend he calls his buddies down on Saturday and they spend nearly the entire day fixing the brakes, or a flat tire, something that let's face it we could do by ourselves with no help and limited tools in an hour...craziness!

So I do completely get that kids HATE cleaning their rooms...hell I hate cleaning MY room, but it must be done.  My 6 year old is the worlds worst at giving me excuses for why she just cannot do it and over the years since she's been cleaning her room she has come up with some of the best excuses I've ever heard for why she can't possibly clean her room...I thought I'd share a few of my favorites with you!

5.  "Because I have homework.".....Alright this one actually sounds legit, except for the fact that she started using this one before she was ever in school.  When I would patiently point it out to her that she wasn't in school yet she would tell me..."Well one day I will be and you don't want me to not do my homework do you?"   I just smiled and handed her a trash bag!
  
4.   "Because my teacher said that I have to go outside and play every day to be healthy."....Now it very well may be true that her teacher did tell the class this in some context, but I tried to explain to her that she could still clean her room and then go outside play,  to which she responded with tears in her eyes..."Why don't you want me to be healthy Mommy?  I thought you loved me."  Now the "I thought you loved me." card is not one that is supposed to be pulled until they become disobedient rotten ass teenagers so I had no idea how to respond to it....so I did what any mother in that situation would do....I let her go outside and I cleaned her room....I know how bad that sounds but you had to see the look on her face!

3.  "Because the other day my toy box told me if I put my toys in him he would eat them.".......Now when she said this one she looked very serous which only added to the degree of difficulty in explaining that I knew it was not true..of course she had a response (for a 6 year old she's pretty quick with the comebacks)..."Well that's fine if you don't believe me, but when you have to buy me all kinds of new toys then I guess you will see!"  She's an absolute pro at laying on the guilt trips as well!

2.  "Because God said you have to be nice to your kids and making me clean my room is not being nice to me!"....She loves to make me feel bad!  I calmly explained to her that even though God did want you to be nice you your kids he also wanted your kids to be nice to you....and that by her not cleaning her room she was being mean to me.  I'm pretty sure this is the only time I actually got her because she didn't have anything to say after that...I should have taken a picture to memorialize the event, because Lord knows it hasn't happened since.

1.  "Because if I clean it today it's just gonna be messy tomorrow and then we're gonna have to have this talk all over again!".......This much I can count on!  How could I argue with that?  I'll tell you how, I couldn't!  I had no words of wisdom, no witty one liners, I just couldn't argue with the plain and simple truth.  She had won...I had been defeated by my 6 year old...I am officially  a pushover!


87 year old women and cars do not mix!

WARNING:  This post is not politically correct!

So I really hate it when I'm driving and the person in front of me insists on driving 20 mph on a road that has a clearly posted 55 mph speed limit!  (Please forgive me for the undoubtedly age discriminatory statements that I'm about to make)  That person almost always happens to be some 87 year old woman, who can barely see over the steering wheel (if she can see the road at all...God knows sometimes I wonder), so given those factors she figures she needs to drive 12 mph!  You know I love old people...I am totally for helping them out every chance I get, but the idiots at the DMV who keep insisting on renewing their licenses need to be made to drive behind them for an hour...there would be a lot less 87 year old women on the road if that happened.  Anyway here is a list of reasons why the DMV should stop giving them their license!

  1. Old people have a tendency to forget where they are going....do you have any clue what it's like to drive behind an old woman who has her turn signal on for 20 miles?  Many accidents could be avoided this way...just something to think about!
  2.  87 year old woman behind the wheel of a car = ACCIDENT!.
  3.  On the other hand there are the ones who drive 300 mph and seem to have no inkling of where the brake is....i can not tell you how many times I've almost been rear-ended because of this...every time, I look in the rear-view mirror and there's grandpa  smiling back at me oblivious to what almost occured!
  4. It's pretty bad when a 16 year old boy that just got his license recognizes the bad driving of an old person and slows down to avoid getting too close!
  5. Let's face it if there were less older drivers then there would be less older people out in the stores so you would cut your risk of getting stuck behind them in the check out line in 1/2 as well! 
Don't hate too much...you know we all think it...I just happen to be the one to say it!

The skinny on "The List"

Alright so maybe I have a little OCD, but I love making lists; To Do Lists, Shopping Lists, Chritsmas List (alright hat one not so much anymore), but you get the point....so I thought what would be a better thing to blog about than lists...all kinds of them (I'm getting a little excited at the mear idea of it)...though I do promise not to include my shopping lists....I promise to blog about much more interesting things like life, love, kids...stuff like that (although sometimes my shopping lists can get a little crazy.)  Anyway I hope you enjoy!

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